The Dog House Diaries :

Stoned

When Your Puppy Has a 20 a Day Stone Habit

My dog is an addict. 

He won’t stop trying to eat stones and gravel.  And bearing in mind we have a gravel path in our back garden, it’s pretty much like a running buffet to him.  

Seriously, his stone munching is bordering on a crack cocaine habit.

Exhausted already by 8am, slippers shredded by puppy teeth, and back aching from continuously wrestling gravel out of Barkley’s mouth, I was wondering if perhaps we had adopted the reincarnation of Jack the Ripper.  

On the plus side, he has shown how insanely clever he is.  Aided and abetted by lots of treats, the toilet training has gone really well today, with only one accident which was totally my fault.  Not only that, but he has learned to sit, stay, stand, come and go down.  He’s either going to be the most obedient, wonderful boy in the world, or become a psychopathic world leader.  Could go either way at this point…

This afternoon he was booked in to have his inoculation at the vets, so I planned on asking them about the stone grinding while I was there.  

Of course he isn’t allowed on the ground until after his jabs have taken effect, so the whole vet visit was a bit of an experience in itself.  He started off as good as gold in my arms while the receptionist chatted to me.  Unfortunately she just didn’t stop talking, and started going through brochures and insurance documents while I wrestled with a very squirmy and heavy GSD puppy.  

Eventually I sat down with him and said to her ‘You do know that Ive not listened to a word you’ve said don’t you?” 

Unperturbed, she continued to chat, and pulled out a form for me to fill in with my second pair of hands.  

Eventually we were called in, and dripping with sweat and exhaustion from all the puppy wrangling I put Barkley on the table, where he just completely relaxed.  While I was pleased, there was a part of me that just wanted to weep. 

The vet examined him and said all was well and good but she couldn’t do his jabs because he was on antibiotics for a little scratch he’d picked up from his litter mates.  

My head was screaming ‘are you bloody well kidding me!!!!!’  but thankfully my mouth behaved itself by saying ‘oh dear, thats a shame’.  

We arranged another date for Friday, and I left with the vet’s words echoing in my ears full of doom and fear…

Don’t put him on the ground 

Don’t let him near other dogs

Don’t feed him a raw diet as it’s just a fad 

Don’t forget to worm him every three months

Don’t let him get over-excited, and to wear wellies in case of puppy attacks 

Don’t let him near farmland or canals due to all the diseases that he could catch with very long latin names. 

Don’t get him wet or feed him after midnight

Oops, no, that’s a Gremlin isn’t it.

Most importantly, she told me, I was not to let him munch on stones in case it resulted in a blockage…”but don’t try and take them out of his mouth either” she said “as he’ll think it’s a game and do it more!”  

That’s cleared that up then.  Not.

So bearing in mind that when Barkley is faced with a gravel path it’s like watching Renton from ‘Trainspotting’ with a fat line of heroin in front of him, it was going to be a challenge. 

I was going to have to stage an intervention…..  

Sherry x

Stay tuned for more from The Dog House Diaries; or have a butchers at my feature about Fabulous Finn

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