Women Can’t Go Grey

The Tale of the Silver Fox and the Grey Goose

Society tells us that women with grey hair are no longer attractive and are just letting themselves go, which is why most of us hit the bottle upon seeing that first kinky grey hair sprouting out of our bonces. And by bottle, I don’t mean vodka, I mean hair dye!

Personally I’ve been dying my hair since I was about thirteen!!!  That wasn’t down to premature greying, but I just wanted to try different colours and have fun with it. After a while though, I settled on a dark brown colour with a hint of plum which I loved to bits and I kept that going for years. I used to dye it myself at home, half hanging over the bath and nearly gassing myself with the fumes, which was fun. Not.

Then the greys started their slow, insidious appearance. Just one or two at first, but then they started inviting their friends along, until my centre parting made my head start to look a little like the stripe down a skunk’s back. Mmmmm, attractive.

So, without the time or longing to spend more time in the bathroom, I thought the easier option would be to go blonde as it would cover up those pesky greys a bit more when they came through. Eureka!! It worked! Not only was the grey landing strip less obvious but apparently blondes also have more fun. Unfortunately though, the fact that I now had to shell out £100 every four months to maintain said blonde-ness properly also meant that I was much less able to afford to have any fun. In fact I worked out that over the years Ive probably paid around £6,000 off of my hairdresser’s mortgage as opposed to my own.

Hmmmm!

So, what I want to know is this…why is it that when I look in the mirror and see my grey roots starting to show that I immediately think I look haggard and old and book myself in to get highlights done? Why don’t I look in the mirror and see a female ‘silver fox’? After all, they do exist as otherwise the male ones would have nothing to mate with!

Why do I continue this fight against time, especially now that all the trendy young things are spending a fortune on actually dyeing their hair grey? What the hell is that all about and why is it that only young people can do it and look cool? Why can’t I just let my hair go grey of it’s own accord (which it’s obviously desperate to do) and look just as cool as they do?

And why is it that gossip magazines add the circle of shame to female celebrities with grey coming through their perfectly styled locks, while they refer to their male counterparts as ‘silver foxes’? I mean come on! If Hugh Laurie can make a “6 Hottest Silver Foxes” List, then surely Claudia Maria deserves to be worshiped as a bloody Silver Vixen. If you haven’t heard of her, check her out. She’s stunning.

Now, I know I should end this by throwing off my shackles and shouting from the rooftops “Sod it…..I’m embracing my natural self and letting my hair go grey!!!”

What do you reckon? Shall I? Shall I?

Hell NO!!!! I’m not that brave yet. Pass me another bottle. Although this time…perhaps a bottle of Grey Goose. Just for some dutch courage.